Who Am I?

So, I'm sitting there talking with the Lord this morning, and in my mind's eye I'm watching Him struggling for breath as He hangs from the cross.

It was a very sober image.

And as I watched Him, I thought, Jesus took His closest friends -- Peter, James and John -- to the place where He would pray in Gethsemene, and He asked them to stand vigil with Him.

But they fell asleep instead.

A little later, when the mob came to take Jesus away, every one of His disciples -- those with whom He had shared His life for the past three years -- they all fled for their lives. And even Peter, the one to whom Jesus gave the keys of the kingdom, denied and cursed three times that he ever knew the Man.

All these thoughts filtered and fluttered in my mind as I am watching the Lord struggle for breath.

And then I asked myself, who am I that I should expect to be treated any differently than my Lord, even when I labor for Him?

It was a very sobering thought.

And I apologized to Him again.