By Degrees

Another reprint of an essay appearing in my third book, Learning to Lean. This essay also appeared here several months ago, but many of you are new to the blog, so this post will be new to you:
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PS: After I posted this, a friend told me about this song by Casting Crowns. It is a must see:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaKDT_Cifec

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But you, beloved, build yourselves up in your most holy faith . . . (Jude 20).


Some time ago, close friends gave me a Day by Day Bible desk calendar for Christmas – the kind with tear-off sheets for each day of the year. Each sheet had a Bible verse and an encouraging quote from a Saint or other notable Christian. I referred to the pages nearly every day I was in my office.

The gift didn't surprise me. From all external signs, she and her husband of fifteen years seemed a model Christian couple. They attended Mass each Sunday and sent their two children to Catholic school. But a few months after they gave me the gift, her husband discovered she’d been routinely unfaithful to him for more than two years.

I know such things happen all the time. People attend Mass, say the prayers, hear the homily, sing in the choir, receive the Eucharist. But beneath the religious activity can lurk a Judas.

In the decades I’ve walked with Christ, I’ve observed that no one ever turned away from Him overnight. It's always been a slow process. A compromise here. An excuse there. A rationalization . . . . and the heart hardens by degrees. 

That's one reason I bring myself to God every morning and evening in prayer, study of His word, and worship. I take the time and make the effort to strengthen myself in my faith and in my faithfulness to Him. I do so because, although I love Him with a deepening love, I fear that given the right circumstances, I could do the unthinkable and succumb to Satan's insidious deceptions. I could grow, by degrees, unfaithful to my Divine Bridegroom. 

And I routinely ask, Lord, help me strive to remain honest and pure.

And holy.

We must have a real living determination to reach holiness. “I will be a saint” means I will despoil myself of all that is not God; I will strip my heart of all created things . . . I will renounce my will, my inclinations, my whims and fancies, and make myself a willing slave to the will of God. – Blessed Mother Teresa

Fortnight of Prayer -- the Rest of the Story

This is the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent . . . . (Mark 1:15)

I received an email from a fellow Catholic about the Catholic Church’s call for a “Fortnight of Prayer.” The Health and Human Services mandate requiring Catholics and others to pay – albeit, we are told, indirectly – for contraceptive services started a groundswell of religious-based opposition to the mandate and has culminated in this call for prayer for religious freedom.

I logged onto the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (see this link) for more information and found a number of suggested prayers, not too dissimilar to this which I received in my inbox:


Loving Father, Thank you for the gift of life and for the freedom to love and worship You. Through the power of the Holy Spirit inspire us to be your witnesses. Grant us the courage to boldly and joyfully stand in protection of our freedom. In your mercy, guard our religious freedom so we may continue to live out our faith and transform the world in which we live. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.


Those who have read my blog long enough know I believe in prayer. I practice it daily. I urge others to pray. I frequently write about it on this blog, even posting a series of strategies for prayer. But I came to a realization years ago that prayer, without confession of sins and a determined repentance, is hollow at best, and a veritable stench in God’s nostrils at worst (See for example Psalm 66:18 and Isaiah 1:4, 11-17 ).

How different is the suggested prayer I received through my email from the one which, for example, Daniel prayed. Here is a sample of his prayer, but you can find it in its entirety at this link –

Ah, Lord, great and awesome God, you who keep your covenant and show mercy toward those who love you and keep your commandments and your precepts!

We have sinned, been wicked and done evil; we have rebelled and turned from your commandments and your laws. We have not obeyed your servants the prophets, who spoke in your name to our kings, our princes, our ancestors, and all the people of the land. . . .

We are shamefaced even to this day: the men of Judah, the residents of Jerusalem, and all Israel, near and far, in all the lands to which you have scattered them because of their treachery toward you. O LORD, we are ashamed, like our kings, our princes, and our ancestors, for having sinned against you . . . .

We did not appease the LORD, our God, by turning back from our wickedness and acting according to your truth, so the LORD kept watch over the evil and brought it upon us. The LORD, our God, is just in all that he has done: we did not listen to his voice.

Now, Lord, our God . . . we have sinned, we are guilty. Lord, in keeping with all your just deeds, let your anger and your wrath be turned away . . . . Now, our God, hear the prayer and petition of your servant; and for your own sake, Lord, let your face shine upon your desolate sanctuary.


There is a stark contrast between the prayers suggested for the Fortnight of Prayer, and this prayer by Daniel. And that, I believe, is our undoing.

Certainly there is enough for individual Catholics to confess and perform honest penance as we ask God’s favor during this fortnight of prayer. But there is also plenty for the Church as a group, and its shepherds and priests on behalf of the Church, to confess and perform honest penance.

The priest scandals related to pedophilia – and the Church’s typically anemic response – is just one reason to rend our garments as well as our hearts. But what of the sins of those Catholics – especially high profile Catholics – who publically support, without rebuke by their Bishops, policies and laws that directly contradict Church teaching about, for example, the Sacrament of Marriage and abortion? Or what about the sins of the Catholic laity, Religious and Clergy who publically protest against Rome regarding the role of women and the priesthood? Or artificial birth control? Or a plethora of other matters of faith and morals?

I suspect there are very few Catholics who do not know of choir directors, RCIA leaders, Faith Formation catechists, Deacons, Eucharistic ministers, ushers, and other leaders within their local parishes who act as a Fifth Column within the Church and who receive little – if any – rebuke from the Shepherds or pastors.

Fortnight of Freedom? Yes, we must pray for religious freedom. But Oh, Holy Spirit! Please bring us to our knees with a heart for a good confession, true repentance and worthy penance. For then, and only then, can we count on Your promise for help, as You said to King Solomon, If My people, who are called by My Name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sins, and heal their land.

Amen.

On June 24 I remembered a post I made a few weeks ago along this line of thought: http://thecontemplativecatholicconvert.blogspot.com/2012/05/holy-mother-church-and-child-abuse.html

Only Christ

This is another from my third book, Learning to Lean:
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For it is I, the LORD, your God, who brought you out of the land of the Egyptians and freed you from their slavery, breaking the yoke they had laid upon you and letting you walk erect (Lev 26:13).

Sin is a merciless master.

It binds us with chains
tighter than titanium.
It takes us
where we do not want to go,
keeps us
longer than we want to stay,
costs us more
than we want to pay.

And only Christ –
not our virtue,

Only Christ –
not our character,

Only Christ –
not our works,

Only Christ –

with His blood,

can rescue the penitent
from sin’s mastery,
break its miserable chains,
to let us walk erect.

Only Christ.

And only to the penitent.

How to Read the Bible for all it's Worth

As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. (Psalm 42:1)

In the last post I told of how the Holy Spirit used the Scriptures to give St. Augustine a new heart, a new life, a new destiny. We also saw how the Holy Spirit is trying to guide faithful Catholics into the same experience of St. Augustine – urging us through the Catechism of the Catholic Church to “pick up the Bible and read it.”

In this post I will suggest several aids to reading and understanding the Bible – aids I have used routinely since 1972 when I first committed my life to serving Jesus. You can also click this link to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops for further (and sometimes, overlapping) information: http://www.nccbuscc.org/bible/understanding-the-bible/

1. Pray before you read. I never open my Bible without first asking the Holy Spirit to illuminate His word to my mind and my heart. My prayer goes something like this: “Holy Spirit, open my understanding to Your Word that I am about to read. Use it to reveal to me my sins, to guide me in my day to day decisions, to make me more obedient to Your will.” Often, when I read one of the prophets or the apostles, I will add (for example), “Isaiah, please pray for me now as I read the words the Holy Spirit gave to you to give to the Church. Pray also for me that the Holy Spirit will open the eyes of my heart and reveal Himself to me.”

2. Be consistent. Set aside a specific time each day for reading the Bible. Choose whatever works best for you. I prefer the morning before my day starts, and the evening before turning out the lights. Along with the time of day, set a specific period of time – ten or fifteen minutes. Whatever you feel comfortable doing. The point is, consistency. Day by day. If you miss a day, don’t stress over it, just pick up where you left off the next day.

3. Select a Bible that is easy to read.  Only Catholic Bibles include the several books missing from Protestant Bibles, such as Wisdom, Sirach and Maccabees. Be aware that the commentaries included in the margins of any Bible are not inspired by the Holy Spirit as are the actual texts of Scripture. Holy Scripture is never wrong, but commentators can be – and have been – wrong in their musings.

I like the Navaree Bible and commentaries, but they are pricey. The New American Bible (NAB) is okay, but I do not like its translation of some words from the Greek or Hebrew to English. Nor do I agree with some of their commentaries regarding the dates and authorship of various Bible books. In fact, I believe the NAB is closer to liberal Protestant scholarship than historical conservative Catholic scholarship in those areas. Here is a link to Bibles approved by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops: http://www.nccbuscc.org/bible/approved-translations/

Along with a readable Bible, buy a good Bible dictionary and a good lexicon. Lexicons aid your understanding of the Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic words used in the Scriptures. For free online resources, visit http://www.usccb.org/bible/index.cfm, www.biblegateway.com and www.blueletterbible.org. I especially like the Blueletterbible site because of its easy access to lexical helps.

4. Don’t begin at the beginning. The Bible is not one book, but a collection of 73 books, written by dozens of authors over the course of nearly 2,000 years. While it is good to read the various books in their historical context (e.g. 1 & 2 Kings with Isaiah, Micah, Jeremiah, Baruch, Ezekiel, Daniel and others), I like to jump around within each Testament (Old and New). See this link for a reading plan I’ve recommended in the past: http://thecontemplativecatholicconvert.blogspot.com/2009/07/bible-reading-plan.html

If you are going to jump around, it will be important to annotate (usually in the Table of Contents) which books you’ve already read so you don’t re-read them before finishing the ones you’ve not yet gotten to. 

5. Skip tedious passages. As I mentioned in my Bible reading plan (see link to my blog above), there are a number of passages, even entire chapters, filled with lists, genealogies and other tedious verbiage that will significantly slow your reading – and probably bore you to sleep. For that reason, I strongly recommend skimming those sections of Scripture. Such tedious texts account for probably less than 5% of the Bible. Do not let that 5% dissuade you from mining the deep riches of the remaining 95%. This is not to say the Holy Spirit cannot teach us wonderful things from that 5%. He can and He has. But your first few times reading the Bible, I think it important to get the bigger picture.

6. Mark it up. Expect the Holy Spirit to answer your prayer about opening your understanding of the Scriptures. He will speak to you as you read. Perhaps not every time, but you will be amazed how often He does speak to us.

Underline texts He brings to your attention. Write your thoughts in the margins. When you come across something you don’t understand, put a question mark next to the text along with the date. I’ve many question marks in the margins of my Bible, along with the date(s) the Holy Spirit revealed to me the answers to my questions.

If St. Augustine had ignored the Holy Spirit’s voice through that of a child, “Pick it up and read it” he would have never become the man of God he was created to be. Likewise, if you and I ignore the Holy Spirit’s voice through the Church to “Pick it up and read it,” we will never become the man or woman of God we were created to be.

As the Psalmist said: Taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8).

The Holy Spirit is Calling You

This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it . . . . (Joshua 1:8)


In his classic “Confessions” – the conversion story of one of Christendom’s greatest Saints – Augustine centers attention on the one incident that set his course from a life running from God to one running toward Him.

As he stood in a garden, his emotions raging within as he struggled with the inner call of God, Augustine heard the Holy Spirit as clearly as one hears a child call: “Pick it up and read it. Pick it up and read it.”

Discerning what it meant, Augustine walked back to the place where he’d been reading his Bible, picked it up and read the first text that caught his eye. It was from the thirteenth chapter of Romans: Not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual excess and lust, not in quarreling and jealousy. Rather, put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the desires of the flesh.

At that moment, Augustine wrote later, the Holy Spirit used the words of Scripture to capture his heart, mind and soul. Conversion occurred on the spot. Augustine was a new creation.

It’s been well said, “The Bible will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from the Bible.” Think how much poorer the Church would be today if the man we call St. Augustine had not obeyed the Holy Spirit and picked up and read the Scriptures?

But what was absolutely vital to St. Augustine’s conversion is no less vital for anyone’s fundamental and ongoing conversion today. Thus it is no wonder the Holy Spirit continues to call His disciples – you and me – to do as St. Augustine did: Pick it up and read it. Pick it up and read it.

Speaking to Catholics through the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the Holy Spirit declares: Access to Sacred Scripture ought to be open wide to the Christian faithful (paragraph 131).  And the Holy Spirit forcefully and specifically exhorts all the Christian faithful. . . to learn the surpassing knowledge of Jesus Christ, by frequent reading of the divine Scriptures. Ignorance of the Scriptures is ignorance of Christ (paragraph 133).

Study of the sacred texts, God the Holy Spirit again tells us, should be the very soul of sacred theology, through which our souls are healthily nourished . . .  through the Word of Scripture (paragraph 132).

To be a faithful Catholic is to be obedient to the Holy Spirit who, speaking through the Church, tells us over and over pick it up and read the Scriptures.

Next time I will offer some suggestions about how anyone can not only start, but also get the most out of reading the Scriptures. But until then, you will find my online study through the Book of Acts of value. You will find it at this link: http://studyacts.blogspot.com/

My First Thought

This is the first essay in my latest book, Learning to Lean, Volume 1. Available on Amazon, Kindle, or through me at richmaffeobooks@gmail.com

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Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, and marked off the heavens by the span, and calculated the dust of the earth? . . . Behold, the nations are like a drop from a bucket, and are regarded as a speck of dust on the scales; . . . All the nations are as nothing before Him, they are regarded by Him as less than nothing and meaningless . . . Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain and spreads them out like a tent to dwell in. He it is who reduces rulers to nothing . . . He merely blows on them, and they wither, and the storm carries them away like stubble (Isaiah 40:12-24).

When I finally leave this body

and stand in the presence

of my Father's glory,

when He reaches from His throne

and draws me to His lap,

when I then understand

what I could not understand

in life –

the enormity

of His incomprehensible power,

the limitlessness

of His reign

over every fiber

of eternity,

that no creature

in heaven

or on earth

can open

what he shuts

or close

what He opens,

that the totality of creation

throughout countless galaxies

bow at His presence . . .

I think my first thought –

when I realize where I am

and in whose arms I rest –

my first thought

will not be shrouded in sorrow

for my many sins,

for things I did

or did not do

in life.

I think I will be most sorry

that I didn’t trust Him more,

when I had so many chances

to do so.

A Certainty above all Certainties

Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. (1 Timothy 1:15)

I don’t spend a lot of time

thinking about my sins.

To do so would be counter-productive

and send me easily to despair.

My baby slaughtered

in the abortion chamber.

Young women I turned

into whores and adulteresses.

Lies I told to gain advantage.

Thefts I committed because I could.

And those were the least of the sins

I’ve sinned in my life;

Sins which reenter my memory,

from time to time.

As at this time.

No, I do not spend a lot of time

thinking about my sins.

But when I do,

I remember that one certainty

above all glorious certainties

that erases my fear of judgment

because that certainty has certainly
wiped away

all of my stains.

What can wash away my sins?

Even the butchering

of my baby?

Nothing –
no, nothing but

the blood of Jesus.

What can make me whole again?

Make me a new creation?

Nothing –
no, nothing but

the blood of Jesus.

Yes, yes, how precious,

yes, yes, how marvelous,

yes, oh, yes how wondrous

the flow of soul-cleansing blood

from Christ’s wounds

that makes our darkness,

our deepest darkness,

our most vile darkness,

pure as snow.

Oh most holy,

most righteous and

eternal God,

who judges sin

and removes the impure,

the unclean,

the ungodly sinner

from Your Presence . . .

Thank you

for forgiveness.

Thank you

for reconciliation.

Thank you,

My God, I thank you,

for the blood of Jesus.

Sound-Bites Will Never Suffice

Like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation. (1 Peter 2:2)


So I’m talking with this guy who tells me he met some Christians who follow the Old Testament Mosaic Laws.  “Messianic Jews,” they call themselves. “I never heard of such a thing,” Harry said. “Have you?”


Harry, himself from a Jewish background, asked the question because he knows of my Jewish heritiage and that I call myself a ‘Messianic Jew.’ He also knows I’m a Catholic Christian, and see no contradiction in the labels. After all, the first apostles were Jews, and until the events of Acts chapters 10-15 (decades after Jesus’ resurrection) Gentiles had to become Jews in order to become Christians.


“Yeah,” I said, “I’ve heard of groups like that, although most Messianic Jews, such as myself, don’t believe Scripture teaches we need to follow the Jewish law.”


Harry asked why.


"I can give you a quick sound-bite,” I answered. “But what those people you met believe is a heresy as old as the first century. You’ll learn why if you do a quick read of St. Paul’s letter to the Galatians. It’s only six short chapters. And then you might also want to read chapters 10-15 in Acts.”


Harry became impatient. I heard it in his voice. “But why can’t you just tell me why it’s wrong?”


“I can,” I said to the man who spends hours a day watching television and surfing the internet. “But how long will it take to read those chapters? Twenty minutes? Thirty?”


Harry pressed once again, and I realized we were getting nowhere in the discussion. He wanted only a few morsels of information and nothing more. So I gave him what he wanted – feeling a little annoyed in the process.

If we were talking about things insignificant to our salvation such as how often Jesus fell on His way to Golgotha, or on which day of the week our Lord was crucified, sound-bites would suffice for me. But what these so-called ‘Messianic Jews’ who spoke with Harry believe had the power to destroy Harry’s faith. As St. Paul said in his letter to the church at Galatia: Those who believe such things have fallen from God’s grace; Jesus’ atonement will be of no benefit to them.


This was important theology – life-giving and life-sustaining theology – Harry was asking about. But he seemed content to get from me only a few morsels to see how they tasted.


Hosea, an ancient Jewish prophet, mourned: My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). St. Jerome added, Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. And the Catholic Church – especially since the Second Vatican Council – in recognizing the fundamental relationship of Scripture to orthodoxy of faith, teaches that not only does God’s word provide strength for [our] faith, food for the soul, and a pure and lasting fount of spiritual life (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 131), but the Church also exhorts all the Christian faithful. . . to learn the surpassing knowledge of Jesus Christ, by frequent reading of the divine Scriptures. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 133)

I don’t know if my morsels satisfied Harry’s curiosity. Frankly, I hope they didn’t. For his own spiritual health, he  - like everyone else who desires to know the savior as intimately as possible in this life - Harry needs to go to the source of our faith – the Scriptures.

Sound-bites will never suffice.

De Jure, De Facto

They claim to know God, but by their deeds they deny him . . . (Titus 1:16).
          
Some time ago I relearned two Latin phrases: de jure and de facto. De jure refers to what a rule or law actually states, while de facto refers to how that rule or law is actually practiced. For example, there is a highway in the middle of nowhere in Montana where the speed limit is – de jure – 70 mph. But sit by the side of the road a while and you'd realize the speed limit is – de facto – 85.

I think Baptism is a good example of theological de jure and de facto in the Church. Catholic Christians know Baptism brings a person into the salvation of Christ. We become God’s child. We are sealed by the Holy Spirit to live holy lives.
 
That’s the de jure position of Scripture and the Church.

For some Catholics, the de facto practice of their baptismal faith is, however, quite different. To hear or watch them, one might conclude they believe they are eternally secure simply because they are baptized and sealed by the Holy Spirit. They can do as they wish because they are forever God’s child – even if their doing and believing contradicts what Scripture and the Church teach.

In other words, they believe de jure they are Christians by their baptism, but they live de facto in sin as atheists.

But is that why God sent His Son to a torturous death, so we could live as we wish? Is that what God meant when He commanded, “Be holy even as I am holy”?

If our world ever needed Christians to unite their de facto to God’s de jure, it is now. And we would all do well to heed the warning of Scripture, If we sin deliberately after receiving knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains sacrifice for sins but a fearful prospect of judgment and a flaming fire that is going to consume the adversaries. . . It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God (Hebrews 10:26-31).

Holy Mother Church and Child Abuse

I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, by loving the Lord your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him . . . (Deuteronomy 30:19-20).

As my mother approaches her 84^th birthday, my thoughts take me to my childhood home. I never doubted Mom’s love for me – and I never doubted what she expected of me.

Principally, obedience.

When she told me to share with my younger sister, she wouldn’t tolerate my selfishness. When she told me to be home at 5 PM, I knew I’d be in trouble if I opened the door any later. And the time or two I defied her to her face, my backside bore stinging testimony that she wouldn’t tolerate rebellion.

So great was my respect – and yes, my fear – of Mom, by the time I was 17, outweighed her by 50 pounds and stood several inches taller, if she told me to be home at 11 PM, I was home at 11 PM.

As an adult with three children of my own, I know why Mom did as she did. Had she not set clear standards – and enforced those standards – I do not doubt for a moment I would not be the successful person I am today.

Sappy, indulgent love, is not really love. It’s cowardice and it’s destructive of the very one we say we care for. That’s not my idea; it’s God’s. The Holy Spirit, speaking through the prophets, warned: Do not hold back discipline from the child; Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.¹ The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.² He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. ³ And “But if you are without discipline . . . then you are illegitimate children and not sons.⁴

Everyone reading this sentence knows what it is like to be in the same area as a rude and disobedient child. Whether on a plane, in a restaurant, at a supermarket, or on a playground, incorrigible children ruin the tranquility of every environment in which they set foot. And I have often watched the child’s mother smile apologetically at the nearby adults and shrug her shoulders as if to say, “What can I do? I’m showing little Suzie how much I love her.”

And we know what kind of incorrigible adults disobedient children become. Which is why what I see and hear occurring today in the Church causes me a great measure of angst. My experience and my knowledge of Scripture wants to scream at some leaders in Mother Church who – in the name of sappy, indulgent love – refuse to discipline her disobedient children. Nor does it seem to matter how terrible their behavior or scandalous their disobedience. What Catholic does not know of priests – or even bishops – who permit lay members of their congregation to lead choirs, act as lector or usher, teach Faith Formation or adult Bible studies, and yet flaunt their sins and are openly critical of Church teaching about sexuality, marriage, abortion, the priesthood and other doctrines central to Catholic faith?

And to most Catholics and non-Catholics, it seems Mother Church is simply smiling, almost apologetically, as if to say, “What can I do? This is how we demonstrate our love for little Suzie or Johnnie.”

As my mother approaches her 84^th birthday I plan to thank her for loving me enough to swat my diapered rear-end when I got sassy. I will thank her for loving me ‘tough’ enough to do the hard things like restricting my freedom, taking away privileges and yes, slapping me across the face when I so rightly deserved it as a teenager.

From my perspective, Holy Mother church needs to do the same with her rebellious sons and daughters. To do as she is currently doing is cruel. And maybe borders on child abuse.


1. Proverbs 23:13-14
2. Proverbs 29:15
3. Proverbs 13:24
4. Hebrews 12:7-8

When I Kept Silent

When I kept silent [about my sin], my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. . . . I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, “ I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”; And You forgave the guilt of my sin. (Psalm 32:3-5)

I still remember how I yearned to join the congregational worship that swelled around me. But my heart couldn’t so much as whisper His praise. I was in the fourth day of my struggle with the Holy Spirit. He’d exposed one of my sins, and like Jonah, I’d been running from Him ever since. So as everyone in the pews around me focused on Christ, I slumped into my seat and gave up the battle. I knew from experience I could only enjoy true worship after true repentance.

When you read the story of David’s sin with Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 11-12 you might not notice an important element nearly buried in the narrative. David did not confess his sin to God for nearly a year! I don’t know how he did it. Day after day, week after week, he went through the motions of being religious. I’m sure he joined the choir each Sabbath in the Temple as they sang their liturgy. He listened to the priest’s exposition of the Scripture and joined his voice with the congregational prayers. To the casual observer, David appeared to be the godly man the people expected him to be.

But God wasn’t fooled. And it wasn’t until Bathsheba gave birth – nine months after David’s sin with another man’s wife – that the king went to his knees and wept over his adultery with Bathsheba and subsequent murder of her husband. You can read his prayer of repentance in Psalm 51.

Why do so many of us, like David, waste days – sometimes years – running from God and making excuses for our sins? Why is it so hard to say to Him, “I’m sorry”?

My reason is most often pride. It’s easier to find fault in others than in myself. It’s easier to think I’m an “I’m-OK-you’re-Ok” kind of guy. But God is not fooled. Which is why He offers us a better way to live. No, He demands of us a better way to live.

Saint Augustine said it well: Do you wish to be great? Then begin by being. Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric? Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation.

I want to be the kind of man God wants me to be. And, if you have read this far, I believe you also want to be the kind of man or woman God wants you to be.

It begins with humility; a humility quick to repent – for mortal sins, of course, but likewise for venial sins – and a cry for Christ’s mercy. Only then can worship and fellowship with the King of kings become as natural and effortless as breathing.

Lord, help us give up the battle early.

Illusions of the Imagination?

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come . . . (Ecclesiastes 12:1).

Former Beatle John Lennon wrote a song whose lyrics endure to this day. It is a tragic song. I consider the lyrics deceptive, even devilish, because they encourage the listener to imagine there is no heaven, or hell . . . and by implication, no God, no Jesus, no sin and no eternal judgment.

And then I remember Lennon’s partner, George Harrison. A year before his death at 58, Harrison remarked that the last forty years of his life passed so quickly, they seemed like the snap of his fingers.

To those who take time to consider the calendar's swiftness, Harrison's comment resonates with wisdom lost on a lot of people. Maybe even his partner, Lennon. But who has not turned photo album pages and wondered: was I really that young? That thin? Healthy? Happy? Hopeful? Whose mind hasn't time‑warped back to incidents twenty, thirty, fifty years earlier and thought: It seems like last week?

Near the end of his life, Solomon discovered what many of us who are older try to convince those who are younger: Time passes quickly. Very quickly. So quickly, it is the source of worn clichés: Time flies. Where did the time go? In the nick of time.

But clichés cannot conceal the cold certainty that our calendar pages continue to drop like autumn leaves in a wind storm – and the time will come for each of us when our time runs out.

When that happens, we will be glad to have remembered – and served ‑‑our Creator while we had the time, because there is a heaven. And a hell. And a judgment for those who have chosen to live as if those things are illusions of the imagination.

Nausea

I posted this just a few short months ago. Events of the last several days beg me to repeat the post because the issues before the Church are so potent and so destructive to the sheep that I have trouble keeping quiet.

I am reminded of the words of the Jewish prophet Hosea: My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge (4:6). Surely that is why the Church through the Catechism repeatedly enjoins the faithful to read the Word of God. To study it. To apply it to their lives. For if we do not, we will fall for all kinds of godless philosophies, to our destruction and the destruction of our children and families.
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But because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold, not hot, I will begin to vomit thee out of my mouth. (Revelation 3:16, Douay-Rheims Bible)

I have for years held an intellectual understanding of the Lord’s rebuke of the lukewarm Laodecian church. But my understanding of late has undergone a transformation. The intellectual has become visceral.

It happened as I suddenly awoke to the speed at which moral decay is sweeping our land, putrefication so noxious it surely stinks to the highest heaven. While all the while the hand-wringing, speeches and statements of churchmen and women of all labels, but especially of leaders appointed by God to lead His flock . . . . all the while the Church, except for very rare exceptions– the Church remains stunningly silent, willfully impotent, and spinelessly unwilling to mount an offense neither for God, nor for His sheep. 

I understand the Lord’s nausea over a lukewarm Church.

I’m a little nauseous myself.

Wondering at Unbelief -- my conclusion

The Lord is in His holy temple. Let all the earth be silent before Him. (Habakkuk 2:20)

A few days ago I wrote about what Almighty God has been trying to teach me. That lesson, reduced to its essential core is this: God is in control of every molecule, every atom, throughout the galaxies. What are nations, presidents, dictators and kings that He is even mindful of them?

But even knowing this, I have focused in the past only on the troubles before me. Problems in the nation. Problems in the Church. Problems in the family. Problems with health. Problems. Problems.

I do not minimize those troubles. I do not make believe they do not exist. No, the varied issues are real. They strike destruction at the very heart of our homes, our Church, our nation.

But I am growing increasingly convinced that this generation – yes even today’s Church – has yet to see what God will do if His people humble themselves, and pray, and seek his face, and turn from their wicked ways. If they do what He commands, then the Almighty will hear from heaven, will forgive their sins, and will heal their land. ¹  

However, we may be living in a time not unlike many other times in past eras wherein His people grew self-satisfied, lazy, and too careless about their sin to concern themselves about personal holiness, about living for Christ, about repentance and obedience, about seeking Him while He may be found.

And if that is the time in which we now live, then the problems we face in our nation and in our Church are only just beginning. Terrible times, desperate times, bloody times yet await us.

But terrible times change nothing about the absolute and unalterable authority of the Almighty. It changes nothing about the truth of Scripture, the power of faith, and the reward of those who turn from godless philosophies, rebellious lifestyles and damnable lies to humbly seek to please the Creator.

Problems, even as they multiply, now urge me to fix my mind on the declarations and encouragements of those who lived in times such as these. Here are a few:

[Jesus said], Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. You believe in God, believe also in Me. ²

All this has come upon us but we have not forgotten you. Our heart has not turned back and our steps have not deviated from your ways. ³

Though He slay me, yet I will trust in Him.⁴

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. ⁵

Though the fig tree should not blossom, and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, though the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.⁶

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.  For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?⁷

Problems will remain with me until the day I close my eyes in death. But until that day I choose to rest in the assurance that the Almighty intimately knows those who take refuge in Him. He is friend, lover, protector and Father to those whose soul is covered with the blood of Jesus.

Sure there are problems. Serious ones. Sometimes unchangeable ones. But God is still on His throne, and I am in His lap. And if you are covered with Christ’s blood, if your heart turns with increasing frequency to Him in repentance and obedience, then you are in His lap, too.

Trust Him. He will not fail us.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

1) 2 Chronicles 7:14
2) John 14:1
3) Psalm 44:17-18
4) Job 13:15
5) Joshua 24:15
6) Habakkuk 3:17-18
7) Romans 8:28-31

Wondering at Unbelief - Part Two

My post the other day was not the first time I'd thought about the enormity of God's power related to the problems we face. I wrote something similar (below) in August of 2010. Nearly two years ago. And even then, when I wrote "My First Thought," the message was not new to me. I'd thought of it for decades.


I'm a very slow learner. But maybe I'm beginning to internalize that truth.


In a few days I will post one more essay that's been floating in my mind related to this theme. But My First Thought is a good segue into that next one.

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My First Thought

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, and marked off the heavens by the span, and calculated the dust of the earth? . . . Behold, the nations are like a drop from a bucket, and are regarded as a speck of dust on the scales; . . . All the nations are as nothing before Him, they are regarded by Him as less than nothing and meaningless . . . [He] Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain and spreads them out like a tent to dwell in. He it is who reduces rulers to nothing . . . He merely blows on them, and they wither, and the storm carries them away like stubble (Isaiah 40:12-24).

When I finally leave this body

and stand in the presence

of my Father's glory,

When He reaches from His throne

and draws me to His lap,

when I then understand

what I could not understand

in life:

the enormity

of His incomprehensible power,

the limitlessness

of His reign

over every fiber

of eternity,

that no creature

in heaven

or on earth

can open

what he shuts

or close

what He opens,

that the totality of creation

throughout countless galaxies

bow at His presence;

I think my first thought

when I realize where I am

and in Whose arms I rest,

my first thought

will not be

shrouded in sorrow

for my many sins,

for things I did

or did not do

in life.

I think I will be most sorry

that I didn’t trust Him more,

when I had so many chances

to do so.