“My soul weeps because of grief; Strengthen me according to Your word.”
(Psalm
119:27)
Life’s
disappointments, its griefs, its unanswerable questions often cut deep into the
human heart, don’t they? There’s not an adult on this planet who has not
learned from personal experience just how deeply any number of losses can tear
at our souls. But perhaps the deepest cut, the most grievous of them all is when
a loved one turns his or her back on you, who rejects you, who forsakes you.
And
what adds further sting to the bleeding is knowing it doesn’t matter what you
do or say, nothing will change the person’s mind.
But
I hope you will hear this – at times such as these, when the soul uncontrollably
weeps, it is the testimonies of millions of Christians throughout the ages that
demonstrate again and again that there is no balm, no comfort, like the balm
and comfort we can receive from God’s word.
That’s
why I draw our attention in this essay, and in the next two or three essays, I
want to draw attention to what God’s word tells us about being able to cope when
someone we love forsakes us.
First,
two words of caution here:
1)
When someone we love forsakes us – whether a spouse, or parent, or child – that
rejection is most often a ‘way over the top’ response to some offense, real or
perceived. The person who walks away from a loved one often was only looking
for an excuse to do so.
2)
It’s easy for those who have been abandoned by someone they love to blame themselves
for the abandonment. Satan is good at twisting our thoughts into accepting the
blame for the sins of another. Don’t let him saddle you with that lie.
In
dealing with our heartache, it is good that we remember, God knows from personal
experience all about rejection. He is no stranger to an ‘over the top’ response
to something – perceived or real – that He has done, or not done. Whatever it
was, it gave those He loves an excuse to turn and walk away.
That’s
an important point to remember – that God personally knows all about rejection.
It’s important because in our remembering, two things will occur in our heart:
1) We can find comfort in knowing God grieves with us. And 2) We can learn from
God’s example how to deal with rejection.
I’m reminded of God’s broken heart as I read through the Old
Testament prophets. In particular, there is Ezekiel 6:9 – (God speaks
to Israel) “Then those of you who escape will remember Me among the nations to
which they will be carried captive, how I have been hurt by their adulterous
hearts which turned away from Me, and by their eyes which played the harlot
after their idols . . . .”
And
then there is the sorrowful episode in 1 Samuel 8. Not very long after God led
His Chosen to the Promised Land, they began clamoring for a king to rule them, so
they could be ‘just like the other nations.’
We
pick up the story in 1 Samuel 8:7 “The Lord said to Samuel, “Listen to the voice of the
people in regard to all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you,
but they have rejected Me from being king over them. Like
all the deeds which they have done since the day that I brought them up from
Egypt even to this day—in that they have forsaken Me and served other gods. . . ."
Yes.
Our heavenly Father understands rejection. And also yes, God-in-the-Flesh, whom
we know as Jesus the Messiah, also knows from firsthand experience the pain of
rejection. It was not an accident that Isaiah called Him: “. . . Despised
and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one
from whom men hide their face. He was
despised, and we did not esteem [value] Him.
(Isaiah 53)
God
understands your grief. Now we can learn how to handle our own grief by
following His example when He is forsaken by those He loves.
His
examples will be the subject of part two of my essay.
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