I had two fathers as I grew up. Albert contributed to
my DNA, and nothing else after he left Mom. He divorced her because he wouldn’t
stay out of other women’s beds. I was four.
Mom married Tommy when I was twelve. In the six years he lived with us, he
never hugged me, rarely spent time with me beyond the time it took to eat
dinner together. I don’t remember him even speaking a kind or encouraging word
to me. Mostly I remember him for his explosive temper.
Despite how they treated me, I know I would have followed their examples of
what I thought was manhood because their example was all I knew. But then I met
people who taught me what true manliness looks like.
It looks like Jesus. Here is some of what that means
to me:
Jesus is a man of Compassion.
We cannot read the gospels without noticing how often Jesus set aside His own need
for food or rest so He could bring a child to His lap, or touch an adult who
needed His mercy, kindness, encouragement, or relief from their suffering.
We cannot be a real man without having compassion for
others.
Jesus is a man of Humility.
Here’s how the Holy Spirit defines humility: Do nothing from selfishness or empty
conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than
yourselves; do
not merely look out for your own
personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,
who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard
equality with God a thing to be [asserted], but emptied Himself, taking the
form of a bond-servant, and . . . .
humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a
cross. (Philippians 2:3-8)
We cannot be a real man without placing the genuine
and honorable needs of others before our own.
Jesus is a man of Reconciliation.
Forgiveness and a willingness to be reconciled with those who offend us is the
bedrock of manliness. We need look no further for an illustration of
forgiveness than the cross on which Jesus hung bruised, bleeding, and dying. What
was it He said of those who nailed Him there, who spit in His face? “Father,
forgive them.”
We cannot be a real man without forgiving those who
have hurt us, offended us, or broken our hearts.
Jesus is a man of Integrity. When I think of Christ’s integrity, I think
of His wilderness temptation (Matthew 4 and Luke 4). Cold, tired, hungry – and
Satan offered Him a way out of His trial. “You don’t need to wait on God,” the
devil wooed. “Take charge. Turn these stones into bread. Toss yourself off this
cliff and if you are God’s son, He will protect you. Stop serving God who
placed you alone in this wilderness and serve me. I will treat you well.”
You remember how the story ended. Jesus responded to
each test with God’s word on His lips – and real men learn His secret of adhering
to the moral standard set by the Father. “How can a young man (or, an old one)
keep his way pure?” The psalmist asked.“By keeping it according to [God’s]
word.” (Psalm 119:9).
We cannot be a real man without living according to
God’s word.
Jesus is a man of Sacrifice.
Who can ever hope to wrap his mind around what were the riches, the magnificence,
the glory, the splendor Jesus knew before He “humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the
point of death? (Philippians 2)? We cannot begin to understand the
word ‘sacrifice’ until we seek to understand His sacrifice.
“Greater love
has no one than this,” Jesus said, “that one lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) He could just as easily have said, “Greater
love has no one than this, that one sacrifice himself, his time, desires,
expectations, dreams – all for the sake of his wife, or children, or friends.”
We cannot be a real man without a
willingness to sacrifice ourselves for our family.
Jesus is a man of Truth. Jesus never knelt in homage to the political
correctness of His day. He didn’t kneel to it because only the truth found in
God’s word sets us free from slavery to sin – and free from the consequences of
sin, which is ultimately death.
Real men know what God thinks of those who define ‘truth,’
‘tolerance’, ‘love’ and ‘compassion’ according to the culture’s sense of
morality. Jesus called such teachers, ‘hypocrites,’ ‘brood of vipers’ and ‘sons
of the devil’ (Matthew 23, John 8).
We cannot be a real man without obedience to God,
despite the consequences we face from those who hate God’s truth.
Albert and Tommy taught me a lot about what they believed it meant to be a man.
And I was on my way to become like them. But then I met the One whom God calls
a Real Man, and authentic Man, a man for all seasons of life, a man for all
time and for all eternity. He showed me a Man after whom I could pattern my
life.
Men – who is your role model? After whom do you
pattern your life? If it’s Jesus, you could never have made a better choice.
